I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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