he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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