Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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