Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
