that's an acceptable place to lick
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize