Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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