this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
