I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize