it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
