I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
