i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
