No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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