That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
