I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
