Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
