i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
