Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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