Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize