its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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