This is not my ceiling
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize