Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
