I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
