After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
