Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
