The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize