Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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