If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
