We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to sanitize my soul.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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