If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
