Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
