Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Omg I joined a choir last night...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
