i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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