Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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