Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize