Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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