so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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