What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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