Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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