i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
