so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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