why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So here I am, sexting at work.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
