id be glad to
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it glows. i had to have it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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