Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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