If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
