So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
