he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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