Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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