She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize