I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
