Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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