i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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