He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
