should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
