Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
