My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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