A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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