A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
