his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize