I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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