wat bout pragnant strippers??
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
