and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
