It's Friday. Sex?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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