Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize