Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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