so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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