If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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