And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
