my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just want to make out with him forever
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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