All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
