Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize