S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
