Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
