At least make sure they are 18
Why
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
