it was like eating out sand paper
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
