went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
