After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
