We're facebook friends in real life
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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